Monday, January 26, 2009

VAT cut did put more money in our pockets - literally

When Alistair Darling lowered the rate of VAT last year he promised it would put more money into people's pockets.

According to the Daily Telegraph today this prediction has come to pass, quite literally. As a result, the extra coins that we now receive in change are wearing away at our pockets. And this is good news for dry cleaners and seamstresses who are being asked to sew up the holes!

And to think I predicted on my TaxBuzz blog that the VAT changes will HURT small businesses!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Tax funnies picked up from twitter

What does VAT stand for? VAT = [V]ery [A]nnoying [T]ax. What else did you expect?
Thanks to Matt Chatterley (@matchedit)

Spent 25 min waiting for Atlanta business tax office to answer phone. Would be nice if their hold message said THEY'RE CLOSED ON FRIDAY!
Poor Paul Mckibben (@paulmckibben)

Have just learnt that the Russian government have cut the tax on vodka to help their citizens ease the pain of financial doom. So clever.

I'm hoping my tax return allows me to get a new bike
Thanks to Daniel Versola (@danielversola)

I just did my first tax return! It was fun! :)

This ouija board is clearly defective. Either that or lost receipts don't have souls. My accountant will not be happy...

OK - well I found them funny. Let me know if you find anything better!

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And you can follow me @bookmarklee.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Remember the VAT rate when you hit 50

Not to everyone's style and too late for me but when you hit age fifty you could claim:
"I'm not 50, I'm 43 plus VAT"
When VAT goes back up to 17.5%, 50 yr olds will be 42 plus VAT!

I suppose you could try a similar approach if caught speeding at anything upto 15% above the limit, but I wouldn't recommend it!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Do accountants make the best patients?

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients.
Singapore surgeon declares: "I like to see accountants on my
operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside
is numbered".
Johannesburg surgeon replies: "Yeah, but you
should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
Frankfurt surgeon observes: "I think librarians are the best,
everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Dubai surgeon points out: I like construction workers. They always understand
when you have a few parts left over."
London surgeon shuts them all up by claiming: "Politicians are the
easiest to operate on. There is no guts, no heart, no brains and no
spine, and the head and the derriere are interchangeable."

With thanks to Naomi Saunders of dTax for permission to copy her from newsletter

Monday, January 12, 2009

The cartoon accountant Colin

This long time stalwart from the back cover of Accountancy Age has been given his own home on the Accountancy Age website. There's 2 pages of cartoons there and idea seems to be to add the newest one each week.

My favourite from recent weeks is copied below for the benefit of anyone who isn't familiar with Higgs creation:

Sunday, January 11, 2009

VAT and Fiddle

What a name for a pub! Seen in Nottingham.

And when I checked it out on the web I found there's also a wine bar of the same name in Paignton, Devon.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Does this work when dealing with HMRC (The taxman)?

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
- Harry S Truman quotes (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

What's the difference between a fine and a tax?

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

- anon (and used on bumper stickers for many years)

Monday, January 05, 2009

What is a budget?

Not the Chancellor's annual headline grabbing non-event but the sort of budget that accountants encourage their clients to prepare ad update:

A budget is a means of worrying before we spend, as well as afterwards.