Friday, June 18, 2010

Fun accountant related tweets

Sometimes I wonder how do accountants stay awake at work. All the numbers are making me sleepy.
-dk

This girl says she went to an accounting seminar met interesting people including accountants. Really? How about marine biologists?
-fabianlawless

Between this weather, crazy clients and outlandish demands I'm ready to pack it in as a photographer and become an accountant like my dad :(
-meeners

Am now officially a grown up. I have an accountant and have just received tax advice.
-tshickle

Just recommended me a 'goth accountant'. If the tax man doesn't pay up I'll have him hexed.
-dividividv

Found a tiny scrap of paper which proves firstly I'm not going mad, and secondly I don't have to pay £650 to my old accountant!
-invisiblea

Ron Artest just thanked his psychiatrist. If it was me I would thank my florist, my proctologist and my tax accountant .. in that order.
-jperk1

Thursday, June 03, 2010

How easy will it be to keep E&Y apart from new neighbours PwC?

How neighbourly will E&Y and PwC be once the latter has fully occupied its new offices in More London - adjacent to the longer standing E&Y offices that have been there a while?

The Telegraph reported that "Blackout curtains beckoned" as both firms realise there will be scope for industrial espionage - at their closest point the two offices are only about 10m apart.
On the FCAblog I noted one insider commenting:
As an occupant of E&Y's premises, I can exclusively reveal that we're going to deploy psychological warfare against the new neighbours - firing lasers into their windows, blasting propaganda speeches and brass band music through loudspeakers 24 hours a day, and hanging a 9-storey high picture of our beneficently smiling global chairman on the side of our office. They won't hold out for long.
Nice one!

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Sometimes we're not as clear as we might be....

Accountants frequently ask new clients to either bring their passport into the office or to supply certified copies. It's a requirement of the anti-money laundering regulations.

An accountant told me recently that a new client recently sent him a package. On opening it the accountant found a copy of the client's passport. What else? Another one. Same as the first. And another, and another. Indeed the package simply contained almost 3 dozen photocopies of the client's passport. None had been certified by a solicitor - or anyone.

The accountant called the client to acknowledge receipt of the package and to find out why he had sent so many copies - and not had any of them certified.

The client was pleased to hear the package had arrived safely.
"But I still don't know why you asked for 35 copies."

HOW strong is HMRC's case?

Years ago a senior official was talking about HMRC prosecution policy. He mentioned an occasion when he had lost a case and went back to his...