Thursday, September 26, 2013

Angry Accountants website

This popped up on my radar the other day -
One of the post includes details of accountants who have gone on to do other things including:

  1. Start counting old coins and jewellery; become a Professional Metal Detector 
  2. Former Accountant Finds Success in Quilting -- opens "Home Is Where the Heart Is Quilt & Gift Shop"
  3. Former Accountant Turns Business Into Piece of Cake -- starts "Truly Scrumptious" specialty cake shop
  4. Former Accountant -- Turned Gun-Carrying Special Agent/Criminal Investigator for the IRS -- turned Private Eye

There's also a useful post about moving from a big 4 firm to a smaller one. That is: Going from being a small fish in a big pond to somewhere you can become a big fish in a small pond. There are some sensible tips and a warning:
""But before you jump ponds, be aware of what you are getting into. Talk to people who have done it recently - especially those at the firm you are going to. We know one guy who jumped from big pond to little pond and about drowned in the middle of the first busy season.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Imagining famous films with an accountancy theme

  1. 10 things I hate to accrue (starring Heath “Nominal” Ledger)
  2. Schindler’s Listing – A heartbreaking story about Schindler floating his company on the FTSE. 
  3. Dude! Where’s my FAR? – A comedy about two guys who misplace their Fixed Asset Register. 
  4. The Shawshank Exemption – a film about a wrongly convicted banker who helps guards avoid an audit [Bit ironic if you know what it was really about!]
  5. LIFO Pi - An abstract story about an unaccepted accounting estimate stranded on a boat with a tiger. 
  6. InSSAPtion – A sci-fi blockbuster hit about the implantation of statements of standard accounting practices into one’s subconscious.
  7. Star Wars: Annual Return of the Jedi – Luke Skywalker battles against an evil empire when he discovers they aren’t filing their annual returns with companies house on time.
  8. Accrual intentions – Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a wealthy teenager taking Reese Witherspoon, a na├»ve student, under her wing to teach her the accruals concept. 
  9. Home A-Loan – an incredibly boring film about a child trying to get a mortgage but failing because he’s too young. 
  10. ICAEW Age – a group of animals teach the ACA to a lost child while avoiding sabre toothed tigers.
  11. Minority audit report – In a future where a special audit unit is able to establish whether accounts are true and fair before they start their fieldwork, an officer from that unit is himself accused of a future fraud. 
  12. The Signing – An auditor becomes possessed while on an away job in an isolated hotel where an evil and spiritual presence influences the RI, while his audit team sees horrific forebodings from the past and of the future. 
  13. Final estimation – a group of young auditors try and fail to escape death after miscalculating depreciation charges.
  14. ACA Ventura: PET detective – Jim Carrey stars as a personal tax accountant who goes in search of a dolphin gifted as a potentially exempt transfer for inheritance tax purposes.
  15. Accrual Runnings – a team of Jamaican accountants with absolutely no knowledge of UKGAAP come to the UK and set up as an audit firm. Hilarity ensues.
I have been unable to trace the origin of this wonderful list. Anyone know to whom credit(!) should be given? 

Any more suggestions in a similar vein?

Thursday, September 05, 2013

What clients say and what they mean (1)

"We keep excellent records" = our books are a mess but don't you dare say otherwise, also I would like a discount please.

"I'm looking for a flexible accountant" = I will ring you evenings and weekends and expect an immediate answer. I may even call on Boxing Day. Late.

"My last accountant didn't file the accounts on time and we got fined" =  I don't expect this to happen with you, though I will ignore repeated reminders and only give you the records one week before year end.

"My last accountant was an idiot" = I'm an idiot.

"I'd like to negotiate on your fees" = Although I want to squeeze more out of you, I've watched the Apprentice so I know how to negotiate. Lower the fees but not the service - and don't expect payment on time either.

"My wife studied AAT years ago so she will be doing the bookkeeping" = Don't try it on with me matey boy, I have an expert in the camp, and get ready to be told how to do your own job.

With many thanks to Jason Dormer of Seahorse Accountancy support  for these. Any more?